Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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