I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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