I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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