You made me cry and you don't even care
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize