hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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