On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So. Much. Porn.
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