I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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