I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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