Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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