its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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