two words: eviction party
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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