I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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