so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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