My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
