it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
