alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize