Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
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