cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
