Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize