That's when you crack a 10am beer
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
