Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
