just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
