so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
