Define "chronic" masturbator.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
