Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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