Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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