So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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