My first STD was from a foam party
Who wears a wallet chain?!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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