shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
ugly people sure do ruin things
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
