brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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