Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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