Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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