just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize