You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just found a bag of teeth...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
