She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
