why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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