you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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