I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
