Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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