dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
