so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
