I just pynch a tree in the face
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize