ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
