The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize