I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
