She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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