based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
When are your genitals available?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
