I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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