I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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