you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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