Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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