i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
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We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I have fence marks all over my body
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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