That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
