It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
