There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
