Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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