Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
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Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's never too late to be topless.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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