Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
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