i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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