How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
