Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
