Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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